As much as I can remember 1 month to go before the actual exams, I got a panic attack. I suddenly became doubtful about my capacity to hurdle the board exam. I don't know why? But it suddenly happened. What would become of me if I cannot pass the board exam? Where would I work If I fail? These were the questions that kept running on my mind. I didn't have any excuses if I can't pass the exam.

Habang papalapit na yung exam medyo nawala na talaga ako sa realidad. I feel like I had a toothache, fever, LBM etc. The anxiety was for real, I feel things that were not real. I began to feel discouraged kapag naaalala ko kung gaano ako lumagpak sa preboard pero I just kept pushing and doing what I need to do (mag aral). I did not stress myself any longer. 

At Mas grumabe yung ginawa naming pagsisimba every morning punta kami kay St. Jude. Mas lumapit ako sa faith ko, nag-novena kami kasama yung close ko na roommate. Positive thoughts always. Lumalayo ako sa mga kakilala ko na nega, wala na ngang matulong sayo tinatakot ka pa. After studying, tumatawag ako sa probinsya to lean on my support system. Yung mga number one supporter ko ang mama at papa ko. Pero hindi pa rin maiwasan na mag-isip lalo na kung pagpikit mo you realize na ilang araw na lang board exams na. Hindi ko alam pero nung malapit na talaga ang exam, parang ang gaan ng feeling ko, confident ako na kahit ano ang tanong alam kong matatama ko ang sagot. Siguro dahil wala na lang din akong magawa dahil yun na talaga eh mag-eexam na. 

Sa mga panahong yun, I just kept my faith and thought that whatever will be the result of the exam, it's for the best. I had the belief that the reason why I went to Manila was to realize how hard it is just to get the CPA title and I should really love my profession because of what I went through in my studies and clearly in the review. Coming from the province where all our professors are part-time, the review was very humbling and it showed the aspects that I need to work on.

Exam days na. Two days first set, two days rest then two days again para sa 2nd set. Ang future ko nakadepende sa 6 na subjects na minahal ko nang buong buo nung undergrad. Sinagot ko sa abot nang aking makakaya, pag medyo nalito ako pikit agad, nirerelax ko ang sarili ko. Pagkatapos ng exam ng P2 last day ng board pumunta ako sa chapel ng Sta. Isabel College. Dun ako umiyak, nagpapasalamat tapos na talaga ang exam at makakauwi na rin ako. Alam kong worth  it ang hindi ko pag-uwi nung Christmas.

May 24, 2016 past 2 am na lumabas ang results ng board exam. Yung time na yun nagbago talaga ang buhay ko. Pasado. CPA na ako, napaiyak ako sa tuwa dahil hindi talaga biro ang mga nangyari. Nakita ko ang saya ng buong angkan lalong lalo na ng nanay at tatay ko. At least kahit nabaon kami sa utang as of this day, bayad na lahat at sobra sobra pa.

To those who will take the board exams this May, claim that you are already a CPA and that the exam is just a formality. Ikaw lang ang gumagawa ng mga bagay na di naman dapat isipin. Yan yung mga sinabi sa amin nung nasa CPAR pa ako last day ng preweek. Malapit na kayong maging CPA ilang araw na lang dadagdag na kayo sa hanay.

Rj, CPA