During college days, I excelled in my accounting subjects. In fact, I was sent as a contender for an accounting quiz bowl and was made the champion in Region 10 and CAR region. And I was even sent to a national competition. 

The pressure of passing the board exam by my alma matter is running through my senses. But during my fourth year of college, I unexpectedly got married and got pregnant, I even delivered my first baby prior to my graduation. But my ultimate dream should not be shaken just because of what had happened to me. 

After graduation, I immediately looked for work to support my family considering that I was gifted with a little angel. How I desired to take the CPA exam but my means did not permit me to do so. And it's so difficult to simultaneously take care of an infant while studying. It took two years that I decided to pursue my CPA dream. 

This time I was so broken because I was unfortunate in my married life. But I said to myself I needed to stand up by achieving my CPA dream. I decided to enroll in a review center at Cagayan de Oro. In the midst of my review, I was misguided because I didn't prioritize God in everything that I do. I spend most of my time in leisures. I wasn't able to cope with my situation. In spite of my unpreparedness, I still have the courage to take the CPA exam. I did not expect to pass because I even slept at one of my hated subject, "Auditing Theory". After a few days, I saw my average and found out that it's near the passing rate. Again, resentment struck me. I said to myself that this was all my fault. My EQ was so low to fight for my kid.

After that downfall, I stopped dreaming and I just looked a job for a living. After three years, I met the man whom I am with right now. I have two kids with him. Because of scarcity in life, we always argue because we are in dire financial need. One day I made a realization: that I can do something to change our situation. The moment I scanned my Facebook, I can see my classmates who are CPAs. They are experiencing the abundance of life, working abroad and earning something huge to fulfill the lifestyle they wanted to have. 

Good thing that my partner is very supportive to achieve my dream. Again, I enrolled in a review center for a refresher, and at this time in Cebu City. How I wished to focus on my review and stop working but I can't do it because I need to earn a living for my family. Sobrang hirap talaga, yong kahit alam mong pagod na pagod ka galing sa trabaho tapos sobrang nakaka-stress ang traffic at ang hirap mag-commute sa Cebu. 

Imagine, nakakauwi na ako sa bahay galing work by 11pm kasi after work, papasok pa ako sa review center ng 6pm to 9pm tapos it takes two hours para maka-uwi ako ng bahay. Alam ko sa puso ko na kaya ko ito kasi sanay ako sa hirap, pero ang nakakaluha sa sitwasyon ko ay iyong makita ang mga anak ko na umiiyak at nakikiusap na sabayan ko silang matulog. But I needed to be tough, kailangan kong tibayan ang aking loob. Sinasabi ko na lang sa kanila na para sa inyo ito mga anak, kaso 2 years old pa lang ang youngest ko. What can you expect with that age? At sobrang mama's boy pa itong bunso ko. But I was so amazed with my kids kasi hihintayin nila akong matulog bago sila matulog. Just to have my precious time kailangan nilang mag-sakripisyo. Halos madurog ang puso ko habang tinitingnan sila. Supposedly they should fall asleep by 8pm but that's not happening. Basta ang inisip ko na lang, mas kawawa sila kung hindi ko maibibigay ang gusto nila lalo ang suportahan ang pag-aaral nila. Galing ako sa hirap kaya ayaw kung maranasan nila. I strived to study until 1am. 

Here comes the October 2016 board exam, na-feel ko sa sarili ko na hindi talaga ako handa kasi nag-back to zero ako sa accounting eh. Yong review ko, it's not really a review but a first hand information for me at dahil review sobrang fast ang pacing ng discussion. And at the midst of my review hindi ko kinaya ang pressure kaya minsan hindi na ako pumapasok. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, hindi ako mag-take but my partner was pursuing so hard for me to take kasi sabi niya God is so powerful, malay mo ibibigay niya ito. 

During exam day, sobrang kinabahan ako, nag-pray ako kay Lord: "please make a miracle Lord", kaso that time I did not have an intimate relationship with God. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, after na lang Lord pagma-CPA na ako, sayang kasi ang Sunday dapat i-gugol ko nalang yan sa pag-aaral. After the four days exam, sinabi ko sa sarili ko alam kong madali lang sagutan ang mga tanong na ito kaso hindi talaga ako prepared. The most awaited part has come pero hindi ako kinakabahan parang alam ko na talaga ang result this is not the time. Instead ang partner ko ang sobrang kinabahan para sa akin. I did not even dare to see the result, siya ang tumingin at nagpuyat hanggang kinabukasan. 

Ayan na, the moment of truth has come. After a few minutes umiyak siya. Alam ko na ito hindi talaga ako pumasa. Imbes ako ang e-comfort niya, siya ang kinomfort ko at sabi ko don't worry I won't stop this dream kahit saang sulok at anong panahon man natin ito makamit. Hindi ako nagpatinag sa negative result na ito but I took it as a challenge to do more. At this point hindi na ako nag-review, bumili na lang ako ng mga reviewer books ng mga sikat na author kasi feeling ko mas effective ata ako mag-aral mag-isa. At wala na din kami pera pang review, sobrang mahal kaya. Dahil na refresh ko na ang sarili ko sa accounting world parang hindi na ako masyadong nahirapan intindihin iyong mga books na binabasa ko. Isang araw, nagpasya akong mag-download ng bible app sa cellphone ko at nagbasa ako randomly sa New Testament at sabi ko sa sarili ko: "ano man ito panginoon alam kong galing ito sayo". At ito ang unang verse na nabasa ko. 

"Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

I really felt that the Holy Spirit was working in my heart. I can feel the divine intervention. Kaya nag-decide ako to find a church. Kailanman, hindi ko pinaghihinayangan ang time na maiibigay ko sa kanya. We serve the Lord together as family. At doon ko naramdaman ang intimacy and devotion ko to worship and glorify His name. Alam kong mahirap pa rin and same scenario gaya ng dati: trabaho...aral...pagiging mommy sa mga anak ko at asawa. 

But because of God's guidance, kinaya ko. Hindi niya ako binigyan ng sakit. At hindi ko ramdam ang pagod. Nagpatuloy ako hanggang exam day na naman sa May 2017 na batch. I was confident that I can make it because I can really feel His conviction. First day of exam, alam kong kayang kayang ko and I was confident that I can hit above 75% of the two subjects. I ended up the day with thanksgiving. But I slightly fear the 2nd day of the exam: it's Auditing. Alam ba ninyo na ilang beses na akong pinahamak ng subject na ito? Ito talaga ang kahinaan ko. Pero hindi ko pwede iwasan ito kasi part ito ng mga subjects sa board exam. Kahit kinakabahan, nagdasal na lang ako na kakayanin ko. After the exam, sinabi ko tama nga ako, ilalaglag na naman ako ng subject na ito. Pero hindi ako nagpatinag, siguro naman kaya kong mag 65% dito.

After a week, ito naman, 3rd day of exam. I felt the exam was easy gaya din ng first day kaya nagpasalamat ako sa Panginoon hanggang dumating na ang last day, sobrang nahirapan din ako sa AFAR. Pero hindi ako sumuko na sagutin and exhaust all I know to answer every questions kahit may 10 items akong hinulaan na lang but I did my intelligent guessed by doing trial and error which was very helpful when you really don't know how to solve it. 

So after the examinations were over, dumating na ang pinakanakakatakot na sandali, ito ay ang malaman ang resulta. In the midst of waiting, I asked the Lord to give me visions through dreams kung ano ang magiging resulta sa exam na ito. Nanaginip talaga ako, but my dream did not favor my desire. I dreamed that I failed. Sobrang nalungkot ako kasi hiniling ko ang dream na yon. The next night I slept nanaginip naman ako na 74% ang average ko. Oh my Lord if this is the case sobrang sayang talaga. Kasi sa pagkakaalam ko, hindi ako ma condi pag ganito. 

Ayan na sobrang lapit na sa katotohanan. Pero hindi ko kinaya ang tingnan ang result kaya, as usual, si partner na naman ang inatasan kong tumingin kahit na takot na takot din siya. Natulog lang ako buong araw hanggang sa gumabi. Dahil nag-work si partner, 9pm na siya dumating at umuwi siyang luhaan at muntik ng masagasaan. At that moment I almost gave up, sabi ko bakit ganito Lord, hindi mo ba ako mahal? Alam kong kulang pa ang pang-serve ko sa Iyo but how can I serve You fully if mag-refresher na naman ako. Hindi ko na kaya, sobrang naawa na ako sa mga anak ko. Parang awa mo na kahit condi nalang sana maibigay mo. I want to serve and know you more. Tiningnan ko ang perfomance ng school namin, nabuhayan ako nga loob kasi may 3 condi sa mga repeaters. I said: "Lord, please give me the slot".

After few days may rating na. Nanginig akong pindutin ang keyboard ng PC. At yon, bumungad sa harap ko na condi ako at si auditing na naman ang dahilan. Siya lang talaga ang below 75% sa mga grades ko. Kahit gigil ako sa subject na ito, nagpasalamat na lang ako sa Panginoon kasi magkakaroon pa ako ng time to worship Him kasi isang subject na lang ang balikan ko. Sobrang saya ko alam ko may plan si Lord something bigger para sa akin. Binili ko lahat books ng auditing theory and problems at nag-review ako in two different review centers. Gusto kong sabihin humanda ka auditing sa akin ngayon mag-one on one tayo. 

Along this journey, I faithfully came to God's holy presence, I always read the bible for guidance and I made my daily devotion. I gave everything to God, hanggang exam day na sobrang nakakakaba, hindi natulog si partner para ma-sure na magising ako ng maaga. Nagtirik ako ng kandila at hindi ko pina-off hanggang matapos ang exam. After the exam, hindi ko masasabi na madali lang kasi may two long problems na hinulaan ko na lang and I also did an intelligent guess pero bumawi ako sa theory mukhang napuruhan ko siya ng mabuti. 

Here comes the agony of waiting. Sa lahat ng waits ko, dito ako sobrang kinabahan. Every morning and before I sleep, we sing Praises before God and meditate His word and pray and to ensure I do fasting for 10 days. Bawat member ng family, kahit yong 3 years old, nagdarasal at lagi niyang hinihiling na Lord thank you CPA na ang mommy ko. Sobrang nakaka-touch, sobrang gusto na nila na matagumpayan ko na ito para hindi na ako kakapusin ng oras para sa kanila. 

Sa bawat God's word na nababasa ko, it's so promising. God is comforting me every moment. Hanggang sa dumating na ang oras ng result, though the wait was so long, I was positive that I can make it at that point. Nov 2. Araw ng mga Patay, pumunta ako sa puntod ng ama ko at taimtim na nanalangin. "Pa, tulungan mo ako." Ito ang matagal mo ng pangarap sa akin. 

Hanggang sa gumabi, at 10pm wala pa rin kaya nagpasya akong matulog na lang. By 11:30pm, nagising ako dahil balisa na ang partner ko. Kinabahan na ako nang todo. Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko at nagdasal and during my prayer para akong lumulutang sa hangin with God's presence. Sabi ni partner bukas na lang, sabi ko tingnan na natin, pero ang school muna. Nanginig akong tingnan na 1 lang ang pumasa sa mga repeaters, almost mag-breakdown na ako but we kept on saying "in Jesus' name" nang paulit-ulit habang nag-scan ng results. Grabi ang kaba ko, sobra. Muntik nang himatayin ang partner ko hanggang sa sumigaw siya: "Thank you, Lord....CPA ka na mommy". Sa kalagitnaan ng gabi sumigaw kami na pasasalamat sa Panginoon.

Ito lang ang masasabi ko, "sa haba-haba ng paglalakbay natin, pagiging CPA din ang kahahantungan natin". Hold on to Go's promises. I feel I had a calling of uplifting those people na nawalan na ng pag-asa. That's the reason kung bakit sobrang tagal kong nakamit ito.

At ito ang buhay ko with my CPA journey.

Garces, Eunepie F., CPA.