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For young adults around their 20’s like you, marriage is a topic that often crosses their mind. You may know a friend or two who have gotten married this year. While marriage is commonly seen as a “new and happy beginning,” are you ready for the responsibilities it entails?
What it REALLY feels to be married
Marriage is a big commitment. Not only is it an ever-lasting commitment, it is a complete lifestyle change. What do we mean by this?
Well, first, marriage means taking the road of life as a couple, not an individual. “There’s just no ‘you’ anymore,” Paul Raiser, author of Couplehood explains. “The problem is, when two people live together, there is no more Business of Your Own...You have to run everything by the partners. And if there are too many conflicts of interest, the business may go under.”
Second, being married is a constant work in progress. As Melanie Pinola of LifeHacker explains it, marriage does not automatically mean a happy ending. In order to keep your marriage afloat, both partners need to make a lot of adjustments and sacrifices. It’s hard to get used to these compromises, but it is a requirement for a happy marriage.
Third, marriage is adding another family to your mix. You won’t just be marrying the love of your life, you will be marrying their family, too! While this may seem like an amusing prospect, it can quickly turn stressful. For Melanie, she had to absorb the obligations, duties, and frustration of her in-laws. But, since they are her spouse’s family, they are now her family as well.
The matrimonial countdown
A lot of people are getting married not just because they want to, but because they need to. An invisible timer known as the matrimonial countdown seems to be pressure numerous single adults to marry before the “time runs out.” For single, young adults who are still looking for a direction in life, the pressure is real. But, this time is not fair to everyone.
“When it comes to marriage and age, there’s a double standard for men and women,” Jo Piazza of Time magazine says. Men are often praised for staying as single bachelors until the age of 35 or 40. On the other hand, women are immediately branded as undesirable when they remain unmarried at their 30’s. However, what most people don’t know is that 35 is the prime age for marriage.
According to Dr. Peter Pearson of Couple’s Institute, women tend to develop a high level of emotional maturity at 35. This enables women to act more independent, be less clingy, and choose better potential mates. For women who got married in their 20’s, these developments are something that they’ve missed in their lives.
Marriage is not just a commitment, it is THE commitment. It is not something that you bind yourselves to just because of love or pressure. It is your way of telling your partner that you are ready to give up everything just to be with them, forever.
Contributed by: Allison Julianne Macasaet, a freelance writer on the side, a student of international relations on the other. Interests include fantasy books, international relations, and lifestyle.Posted